Emotion - the human experience
by Lebopo Letshwiti Siliwoniuk
We found ways to connect with emotion last so time to get dirty with it!
I’m sure we have all come across that one human who swears to not have any emotion,
the demigod of sensation, who we know, contrary to their statement(s) is an emotionally
charged human with a socialised ability to pretend feelings do not exist, until they exist,
and lets be honest - they exist!
We all experience emotion(s), they make up a huge part of our human experience. These
strange ever changing sensations which rise and fall and, come and go, are felt
throughout the day with or without reason. Some emotions feel enormous and all
consuming. The “easier” ones are recognised as happiness/ enjoyment / fulfilment ,etc.,
the more “difficult” ones are closer to anger/ disappointment/ frustration, etc.,. In certain
circumstances we can almost predict the arrival or departure of our emotions, but mostly
the unpredictability of our day has them on shuffle.
The moment I truly began to understand emotions and my human experience was during
Vipassana. I remember a lot of focus on craving and aversion, like how we crave and
avert emotions. Before sitting I would set expectations, if ever I fell short, a correction
needed to be made. A few days of observation revealed how each sitting was a
completely different experience, there is no way to predict what we are met with. Each
day I was simply facing myself, all my basic needs met and I had little to no external
stimulus, I was in the “perfect” environment, yet my own differences remained in each
moment. This simple observation was immensely profound for me, I managed to identify
an absolute norm: ‘the observation of ones changing nature is the key to self realisation”.
I swear when you are able to identify your own s*!t your life changes instantly! From that
moment the sittings became more of a game, a window to understand and unpack my
personal experience.
Yes, the world around us is ever-changing and all consuming, yet so are we, this is our
human-nature. We too are in constant states of evolution, emotions are our individual
guides toward growth (and expansion). Basically, what I am getting at is how our
emotions are the perfect tools to navigate our healing and fulfilment, the secret is to learn
how to sit with the emotions in all their sensational glory, its nonjudgmental self
observation. I felt unstoppable by the end of vippassan. The exercise of sitting with self
on a daily basis, and learning how to self sooth before projecting myself created a unique
simplicity. Out of this incubator the experience is different, it requires immense self
restraint and discipline. The worldly distractions continue yet we must remain with our
super power. A lot of this is easier said than done, it seems practice and consistency are
key pillars here.
And just when you think you have the hang of it all the craving and aversion begin, the
unrealistic desire to live within a single sensation, the desire to experience only happiness
(or a similar ‘positive” emotion). When we do not get the desired experience or outcome
we begin to think we are broken, something is wrong with us. Yes, there may be
immense sadness in our hearts but here lays our greatest teacher, here is our conscious
sign to shift, to evolve, to slowly remember who we are.
Very often it is not the fault of another but rather the effect of the choices we have made
and/or conditioning that is yet to be addressed. This is when we must surrender, this is
the hardest time to sit. But you sit, you sit and let the tears poor down your face, you sit
and doubt all of you're being, you sit and observe that deep seated hatred you hoard
within you, you sit in anger, you sit in annoyance, you sit. In these moments we rewire our
consciousness, we remember how we are everything and nothing, we remember how we
are not our emotions, we remember how to heal, we remember how to love and we inch
closer to our primal vibration.
Thank you for reading this. Thank you for allowing me to share. I hope you take the time
to sit with yourself and for those that need a little more guidance please check out the last
article!
With love and Light,
Namasté